Fight like a girl.

 Two weeks today! I had my final surgery two weeks ago.  I expected this recovery to be way worse than it has been. I had heard that liposuction was quite painful. I won't say that it wasn't uncomfortable but not as bad as I was expecting. It's weird to have discomfort doing simple things. Bending at my waist to shave my legs was uncomfortable, putting pressure on my stomach like that was not pleasant.  I'm happy to see that I'm getting better. I can feel myself getting stronger. I'm able to be up for longer periods of time. My first walk around the block wore me out. I had to sit down and recover for an hour before I felt better. But that was one week post op and I hadn't done much but walk around the house so that was a little ambitious.  I have a follow up MRI on Monday. It was supposed to be in April but a couple nights ago I was having a freak out moment. I called the next morning and got it moved to as soon as they could get me in.  You know when it...

 Alright. I've had questions about this last surgery, and I'm going to just explain what happened so hopefully it makes more sense and answers the questions.  Back in June I had my double mastectomy. They took out all of my breast tissue. My chest was flat. I've seen mastectomy pictures and it's almost concave where the breast tissue was. That would have been the case for me except I chose to do reconstruction. So after taking away all the tissue they placed the tissue expanders. They're like implants but they have a valve on them that they fill with saline. I went to the plastic surgeon's office every week to have my tissue stretched. They needed to make a pocket for where the implant would eventually be. I essentially chose my breast size without having to wake up from surgery and be like, "Oh I wish I was bigger. Oh I wish I was smaller." I went in one week and they put 50 cc's of saline in. We waited a week for my skin/tissue to stretch and the...

 Remember how I was having surgery today? Remember how I was going to get my port taken out and these uncomfortable plastic expanders? Ya well not happening today. Whoever filled out my pre authorization form put the wrong facility. They wrote down American Fork hospital which is great cuz my insurance covers that hospital. But my surgeon isn’t at American fork today, he’s at a surgical center in Provo who my insurance does not cover! I should clarify- my insurance will cover it if you have a certain plan. So my plan goes to the Intermountain hospitals. But a different plan goes to the HCA hospitals and the surgical center. Why? I don’t understand why someone with my same insurance company can go to the surgical center but my plan doesn’t let me. The morning was spent with calls to insurance, surgical center and surgeon’s office. All with the final decision that I was not able to have surgery today. Oh my gosh thinking about it makes me want to stomp and scream and throw a tantrum!...

 I'm almost done. I have one last surgery on Tuesday. This is to get the expanders out and replace them with implants. They will also do some fat grafting to make the boobs look more natural. Silver lining in all of this: I get some new boobs and maybe some lipo in the stomach.  I'm told the implants will be more comfortable. I hope so because these expanders hurt. I feel like my right side has still been shrinking. It feels like it's going into my underarm. It's tender and a little painful. I was massaging it in the shower today trying to push it out from under my arm. Not sure if it did anything but it felt better.  When Ryan and I talk about where I was last year in this process, I get physically ill. I want to throw up thinking about going through chemo. It was the hardest thing I've ever physically and mentally had to go through. A friend from high school called me over Thanksgiving and told me his brother's wife was just diagnosed with breast cancer. He as...

 It’s been a year. One year. Monday, November 22nd I received a message and read my cancer diagnosis. I didn’t believe it. I had to call my doctor and it still took a few weeks for it to sink in. November 30th we met with Dr Tittensor and was given all the information- the port placement, the chemotherapy, the surgery, the radiation. It was so overwhelming. I know we left that appointment with Ryan feeling relieved and optimistic, while I sat in the car and cried thinking about all the things that were to come.  It was a rough year. The worst part was chemotherapy and how sick I was. I could do surgery again, or even maybe radiation but the chemo. That was horrible.  But even though it was a horrible year we were blessed in so many ways. My mom was able to come and help with each round of chemo. Ryan’s dad was also able to come help me. I could only stomach Rice Krispies for a little bit. He wasn’t sure how I liked it so he just brought everything up to my room and let me...

  I had another infusion last week. I was calculating it and I may only have two or three more infusions. I started January 7th. I'm supposed to receive the Herceptin for a year. I have one after Thanksgiving and then one in December. I'm not sure if they'll want me to get one more dose in January or call it good after the one in December. It doesn't really matter to me. It's pretty quick, especially when I don't see the doctor. It's about an hour for the whole process.  I get to the office, check in, wait for the nurse to call me back, have them access my port and then they tell the back room I'm ready. The "back room" mixes up the drug and then they bring it out and hang it for 20-30 minutes. I always forget how long it is. Anyway, it infuses for the amount if time it's supposed to and then they de-access my port and I'm on my way.  The worst part is getting my port accessed. They stick the needle in and it's a poke but you have t...

 I wore these shirts just about every night when I was going through radiation. See how there are some dark spots on them? Ya that is grease from the ointments I used to keep my skin from cracking and burning. I used old shirts knowing they would probably get ruined. Well the time has come for me to throw them away. They are so greasy, but they saved my sheets for me (for the most part). Thank you t-shirts but I don't want to see you ever again.