surgery recap (graphic pictures)

 Alright. I've had questions about this last surgery, and I'm going to just explain what happened so hopefully it makes more sense and answers the questions. 

Back in June I had my double mastectomy. They took out all of my breast tissue. My chest was flat. I've seen mastectomy pictures and it's almost concave where the breast tissue was. That would have been the case for me except I chose to do reconstruction.

So after taking away all the tissue they placed the tissue expanders. They're like implants but they have a valve on them that they fill with saline. I went to the plastic surgeon's office every week to have my tissue stretched. They needed to make a pocket for where the implant would eventually be. I essentially chose my breast size without having to wake up from surgery and be like, "Oh I wish I was bigger. Oh I wish I was smaller." I went in one week and they put 50 cc's of saline in. We waited a week for my skin/tissue to stretch and then went back again to add another 50 or 75 or however much fluid. It was like I'd try out being a certain size for a week and then decide, do I want to go bigger or am I happy with where I am? 

The tricky part is that I still had radiation to go through. The problem with radiation is afterward my tissue is essentially frozen in place. It's like botox for your boob. Except it's damaged/scar tissue that will potentially always keep shrinking. 

Once I decided, "Okay this is the size I'd like to be," the NP filled the right side (future radiated side) with extra fluid. So I was lopsided for a bit. They do this because they know that the radiated side is going to shrink and the tissue will be damaged. They want to over expand to compensate for the shrinkage. 

My plastic surgeon told me an 18 year old girl was sent to him for reconstruction. She had a double mastectomy and radiation and now wanted implants. He was like, sorry there's nothing I can do for her. Her skin is frozen from the radiation. 

So I had my expanders placed, I had my tissue expanded for about six or seven weeks and then I had radiation. Once radiation was over, I had to wait four months for the skin and my body to heal. And my skin did shrink for sure! At times it felt like my expander was shrinking right up under my arm pit. It was hard and uncomfortable and it hurt to sleep on my side. It was like this hard bouncy ball just stuck under my skin. 

Alright then last Wednesday, they cut open a small incision under the breasts. And it is small. I saw it and I was like, wow that thing is tiny. You know, compared to the incision for the mastectomy. My measurement skills are not on point but let's just say the mastectomy incision was probably 4 inches and this incision is maybe two inches. Anyway, off topic. So they made an incision, deflated the expanders, took them out, placed the implant and closed the incision. They then went to my abdomen for some liposuction/fat grafting. 

If you remember, I had ZERO tissue left up there. It was like my chest wall, ribs and then a big old ball. I needed some shape, a more natural looking boob. They went in my stomach, sucked out some fat, put it in an, I don't know, a machine of some sort (I picture it like a centrifuge) that spins out all the liquid. They make the fat more dense. Then they came back up to my chest, made a tiny incision for a small cannula and shot the fat up in the top, like above my nipple, to give me cleavage. Hahaha, not really but if I say that, then you know where I'm talking about. They say that about 80% of the fat grafting survives and the other 20% dies and gets reabsorbed into the body.  

I came out of surgery Wednesday afternoon. My first memory is being freezing cold. My legs were shaking, my teeth were chattering, I had all these warm blankets on. Ryan has some lovely pictures of me covered in blankets, you can't even see there's a person under them. 😂The nurse was asking me about my pain. I remember saying, "It's a 6." She gave me some meds, then asked me a little bit later, "what's your pain?" "6" She gave me another dose of meds. Then the third time I told her my pain was a 4. The nurse kept telling me to take a deep breath because my oxygen sats kept dropping. I vaguely remember her telling me that she couldn't give me more pain meds because they were making me too sleepy. I was like, "Dude just let me sleep. I'm tired." I remember her giving us discharge instructions to go home, but my only memory is that she asked if we had a follow up appointment with Dr. Jensen. I don't remember the drive home. I remember getting home and going upstairs to bed. I slept for a few hours. I finally came to about 8ish Wednesday night. I can't believe they sent me home when I was still so sleepy. I've obviously never worked in surgery so I don't know what the checklist is, but I would think a little coherency would be on that list. 😂

The discharge instructions said to shower in 24 hours. I tried to shower Thursday night but I was NOT up for it. I took my compression bra off and got really lightheaded. I was like, "Ryan, I'm going to pass out. I need to sit down." He walked me over to my recliner and I had to sit down. I decided I wasn't ready for a shower. We waited another 24 hours before trying again. I don't know if I can handle seeing trauma to my own body. I can handle seeing my kids hurt, maybe that's the nurse in me, but when it comes to me, I'm such a wuss. I remember almost passing out after my mastectomy as well. I was standing in the bathroom, Ryan started stripping one of my drains and I was like, Oh I gotta sit down. At least I can tell when I'm going to pass out, instead of just all of a sudden going down without warning. 

I was able to shower on Friday without any complications. I have some nice bruising on my love handles already. And today the top of my breasts have yellow bruising. It's pretty gross actually. 

But there we go. That was the last piece of this puzzle. It's completed. Oh and my port is gone!!!