Fight like a girl.

 Post from May 4th  Went to the plastic surgeon. I really liked him and his nurse practitioner. They were super chill and not pushy at all. I have a choice to do a lumpectomy or a mastectomy. Dr. Tittensor (breast cancer surgeon) didn't have a recommendation either way. She said I was a good candidate for both. The plastic surgeon’s nurse practitioner came in first and gave us the rundown of how this kind of surgery goes down. She complimented my chest which I was laughing at because there's nothing there. She said, "You really have very pretty breasts.” I just kept laughing every time she said it. She said, “you know it's not just about size. There's shape, color...." I can't remember what else but I was just laughing. She said, "Trust me I see breasts all day long and you have really pretty breasts." Ryan asked her what she would do if she were in my position. She said she would totally do a double mastectomy with reconstruction. We asked her h...

I have surgery scheduled for Wednesday June 1st. I’ve decided I’m going to have a double mastectomy with reconstruction. Since I’ve made the decision, I haven’t really looked back. I’m thinking that’s the right decision. I’ve been at peace with it.  Here’s an update on residual effects from the chemo:  - I’ve had this weird pain on the left side of my chest for a couple of weeks. I raised my arm to reach for something and I could feel some pain, below my breast in my ribs. It was really weird. I had Ryan feel it and he said it looked vascular. I have no idea what it could be. It’s gotten less noticeable so hopefully it’s going away.  -My brain doesn’t work as well as it used to and it’s kind of embarrassing. I’ve heard of “chemo brain” but I don’t know what all that includes. I lose my train of thought. I can’t think of words I’m trying to say. I feel like sometimes I sound like a babbling idiot.   -I didn’t lose my eyelashes, eyebrows, or arm hair. I’ve had peo...

 I'm here at my oncologist's office getting my first Herceptin only infusion. I don't have any pre-meds to get. I'm not going to be dead tired from Benadryl. My infusion will take about 30 minutes and then I'll be on my way. I even drove myself here and came by myself. I do this every three weeks for the next eight months or so (whatever equates to getting this medicine for a year).  I was sitting in the waiting room, waiting to get called back and a visitor came out talking on the phone. She was talking about her family member getting treatment, she mentioned that it was this patient's first treatment and that it was a good thing they had gotten in a week earlier because the tumor had already doubled in size (or something like that). I was sitting there listening, feeling so so bad for whoever this patient was. I am so happy to be where I am. I can not imagine starting at the beginning. I probably wouldn't do it again if I had to. Oh my gosh, I couldn't...

 Last week we had a couple of Courtney's friends over. Two of the little girls haven't been over a ton during the past four months. They had been playing outside and I was working on the couch. I had taken my beanie off. The girls came back in the house and one of them came over and was staring at me wide eyed, "What happened to your hair?" I put my hands on my head and was like, "I know! I lost all my hair!......I had to take some medicine and it made all my hair fall out." Her sister says to me, "Why did you have to take that medication?" I said, "Well I have cancer. Have you heard of cancer before?" She nodded her head with wide eyes. Then her sister said, "Grandmas get cancer."  Ha Ha Ha, yes they do. But apparently so do young people.  On Saturday, my friend and I drove out to Roosevelt for Logan's soccer game. I brought my purple wig out there. We got home and I got out of the car, with kids running all over the place,...

 We went and saw the plastic surgeon on Tuesday. Him and his nurse practitioner were super cool. The weren't pushy at all. They gave their opinions but the Dr. said ultimately it's up to me and no decision is the wrong one. Whatever is best for me. So I have some decisions to make regarding my surgery. I'm working on a post about our visit but it's taking me a while to get everything down.  Today I went to Jordan's track meet. Saw a lot of friends I haven't seen for a while. Now I'm tired and ready for a nap. I kept walking around and unfortunately I'm just not up for that activity.  I'm doing really well. This is typically my good week and it has been. I have up and down moments throughout the day as far as feeling good, then really tired and a little nauseous, and then good again. I was laying in bed last night thinking, "Hey my restless leg is gone," which I'm sure was a lot of anxiety. I'm so happy to think that I don't have...

 I’ve been waiting to be in a better place to write another post but I have a lot I want to write about and it’s just going to get longer the longer I wait.  (We're missing a few friends in this picture) Thursday- one of my friends started a business a year ago. She was having a big birthday celebration. When she had sent out a text a while ago I was super excited to go, then I realized it would be less than a week after my last treatment. I was so bummed knowing I wouldn’t be able to go party. I had kind of forgotten about it when another friend text me and asked if I wanted to go. She knew I was usually not up for things at this point in recovery weeks but she wanted to invited me anyway. There were a couple of friends driving together to the party. They were leaving at 6:30. I decided at 6:15 that I wanted to go. I showered and got dressed as quickly as my body would let me. I was getting ready to walk out of the bathroom and head out the door when Ryan met me in the doorwa...