Fight like a girl.

One of my dear best friends goes hiking every Friday during the summer. She’s been doing this for at least 7 years, maybe longer. I don’t know how it originated but it has morphed into what we call “Lovely Lady Day.”  There is usually a husband or two that will go with us. Depending on the hike, and the day, there can be anywhere from three to eight moms and about 23 kids. Some hikes are all day hikes where they drive to salt lake, hike, pack a lunch and are barely home in time for dinner.   I started joining this group a few years ago. I’m not an avid hiker. I didn’t grow up hiking. I’m actually a little scared of the outdoors. I’m not a fan of the critters you run into out in the mountains, especially snakes.  My first year I would pick and choose which hikes we went on. If I had worked the night before there was no way I would be ready to go at 9:30 with all four kids, backpacks, snacks, sunscreen, etc. I also wasn’t sure about how my kids (let’s be real, it’s me) woul...

 Went and saw the mastectomy physical therapist last week. He worked me over. He used a plastic tool to scrape my scar tissue. Does that sound as unpleasant as it felt?   My underarm felt like it was sunburned and on fire anytime I touched it.  I told him where it was tender under my arm. He said that I grimaced in different spots each time and that’s usually a sign of nerve damage. He said that my nerve is probably hyper stimulated and we need to overstimulate it so it stops firing that it’s irritated. We need to desensitize it. That’s a better way of saying it. I’m supposed to massage it for a minute in five different directions every day.  I went again yesterday and the assistant did some more scraping but did it less intense since I was so tender after the last time. She also showed me some stretches to try and loosen the tightness I’ve been feeling.  I’m currently sitting in Dr. Tittensor’s office. She’s going to teach me how to do breast exams with my...

 Well, my life has been going pretty good. I've had a follow up appointment with my radiation oncologist, plastic surgeon and medical oncologist. They've all had good things to say. I've graduated to a check up in six months with my radiation oncologist and then probably just a yearly check up. With my plastic surgeon, well there are still a few things going on with the reconstruction.  So the surgery went great and everything was looking good. A couple weeks maybe three weeks out I started noticing some tightness in my chest, arm and shoulder. I mentioned it to the plastic surgeon NP and she said we'll keep an eye on it. She said that it could still be scarring from the radiation. All the doctors keep saying, "radiation is the gift that keeps on giving." Well I wish it would stop. I've enjoyed the gift long enough and now I'd like to return it. She said if there continues to be a problem we could always do a revision. I didn't ask exactly what tha...

 Two weeks today! I had my final surgery two weeks ago.  I expected this recovery to be way worse than it has been. I had heard that liposuction was quite painful. I won't say that it wasn't uncomfortable but not as bad as I was expecting. It's weird to have discomfort doing simple things. Bending at my waist to shave my legs was uncomfortable, putting pressure on my stomach like that was not pleasant.  I'm happy to see that I'm getting better. I can feel myself getting stronger. I'm able to be up for longer periods of time. My first walk around the block wore me out. I had to sit down and recover for an hour before I felt better. But that was one week post op and I hadn't done much but walk around the house so that was a little ambitious.  I have a follow up MRI on Monday. It was supposed to be in April but a couple nights ago I was having a freak out moment. I called the next morning and got it moved to as soon as they could get me in.  You know when it...

 Alright. I've had questions about this last surgery, and I'm going to just explain what happened so hopefully it makes more sense and answers the questions.  Back in June I had my double mastectomy. They took out all of my breast tissue. My chest was flat. I've seen mastectomy pictures and it's almost concave where the breast tissue was. That would have been the case for me except I chose to do reconstruction. So after taking away all the tissue they placed the tissue expanders. They're like implants but they have a valve on them that they fill with saline. I went to the plastic surgeon's office every week to have my tissue stretched. They needed to make a pocket for where the implant would eventually be. I essentially chose my breast size without having to wake up from surgery and be like, "Oh I wish I was bigger. Oh I wish I was smaller." I went in one week and they put 50 cc's of saline in. We waited a week for my skin/tissue to stretch and the...

 Remember how I was having surgery today? Remember how I was going to get my port taken out and these uncomfortable plastic expanders? Ya well not happening today. Whoever filled out my pre authorization form put the wrong facility. They wrote down American Fork hospital which is great cuz my insurance covers that hospital. But my surgeon isn’t at American fork today, he’s at a surgical center in Provo who my insurance does not cover! I should clarify- my insurance will cover it if you have a certain plan. So my plan goes to the Intermountain hospitals. But a different plan goes to the HCA hospitals and the surgical center. Why? I don’t understand why someone with my same insurance company can go to the surgical center but my plan doesn’t let me. The morning was spent with calls to insurance, surgical center and surgeon’s office. All with the final decision that I was not able to have surgery today. Oh my gosh thinking about it makes me want to stomp and scream and throw a tantrum!...

 I'm almost done. I have one last surgery on Tuesday. This is to get the expanders out and replace them with implants. They will also do some fat grafting to make the boobs look more natural. Silver lining in all of this: I get some new boobs and maybe some lipo in the stomach.  I'm told the implants will be more comfortable. I hope so because these expanders hurt. I feel like my right side has still been shrinking. It feels like it's going into my underarm. It's tender and a little painful. I was massaging it in the shower today trying to push it out from under my arm. Not sure if it did anything but it felt better.  When Ryan and I talk about where I was last year in this process, I get physically ill. I want to throw up thinking about going through chemo. It was the hardest thing I've ever physically and mentally had to go through. A friend from high school called me over Thanksgiving and told me his brother's wife was just diagnosed with breast cancer. He as...