Another day

 It’s Thursday! I’ve made it almost a week after treatment. Hallelujah!!! (Courtney hates when I say that) 😂

Speaking of Courtney, she broke her arm Tuesday night. 🤦🏻‍♀️ She fell off a neighbor’s trampoline. I’m not sure on the whole story still. This friend has a net around it but Courtney said the zipper wasn’t closed and she fell out there. She came home crying and holding her arm. She can be a little dramatic so I wasn’t sure if she was just tired and a little hurt, or if she needed to be taken to the doctor. Ryan took her in and yep she broke both bones down by her wrist. She has a soft cast on right now and we see the pediatrician on Friday. When Ryan text me and said it was broken I was like, really?!?!? Right before summer and swimming and end of school fun?!?!? Ugh! It’s our first broken bone in the family and surprisingly with three boys, it’s the little girl that does it first. 😆 

Well I’ve made it through almost a week post chemo. And this one is going way better than any previous rounds. I started getting the fuzzy numb tongue yesterday but it was minimal. I was able to eat yesterday. In previous rounds Wednesday, Thursday and Friday are usually the worst. I can’t eat or drink anything and I just lay in bed sick. But not this time. I got out of bed yesterday afternoon. I went downstairs to the couch!!!! I know. That’s pretty crazy. I even went on a drive with my mom to pick Logan up from soccer practice. That would’ve been unheard of in previous rounds on a Wednesday. 

I’ve been having trouble calming down at night though. I don’t know why I’m still feeling anxious. I took my meds last night and they should’ve helped me fall asleep but I just lay there. My mind was racing with all the thank you cards I need to write. I lay there and write them out in my head. I lay there and think about things coming up on the calendar. I write this blog in my head. I just can’t turn my brain off. And my legs are still feeling a little restless so that makes me a little anxious as well. The oncologist offered me some anxiety meds last time but I declined. I’m kind of thinking I should call and get a prescription for maybe three or four pills to get me through the next couple of days. I don’t know. I have ambien but I get worried mixing some of my meds with ambien. I know some of them are already going to make me sleepy and I don’t really want to stop breathing in the middle of the night. Anyway, I’ll figure it out. 

I’m so happy to be done with this part of the process. So, so happy. 

At the beginning of all this I had Ryan give me a priesthood blessing. It was right after we received the diagnosis before we had met with any doctors or anything. He had said in the blessing that our Savior, Jesus Christ, would be by my side on this journey. There have been many times when I have been so low and have said things similar to what Christ cried when he was also suffering. I’m not comparing myself to Christ in any way but I was thinking about Him and me this past week. There have been so many times when I have cried to Ryan and said in my prayers, “Please don’t make me do this.” And I think of Christ suffering for our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane. He also cried to our Father in heaven a similar plea- “Please don’t make me do this. Please let this cup pass from me.” But He did it. He went to hell and back for us. 

Sunday night I was feeling so anxious and nauseous so Ryan and his dad gave me another priesthood blessing. Ryan blessed me that I would have patience this week. I’ve thought about that a lot when I’ve been having a down moment or feeling my anxiety kick in. I keep thinking okay one hour at a time, one more day done, be patient, you’ve finished, you just have to get through this week. And here we are at Thursday. Yay! I’ve made it to Thursday! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!