Tired

 Sigh. Headed into round four not as recovered as the first three rounds. I still try to go to the gym and do things but I get so worn out. Yesterday my back was hurting so bad. I don’t know if I slept funky or did something to it at high fit but I was hurting yesterday. Today my back is better but I’m so tired. I guess this is what my doctor meant by each round will get a little harder. Just the recovery I guess? It’s really kind of pathetic. I start the morning doing pretty well but then I just shut down by afternoon. 

And I’m starting to get more anxiety about Friday. I’ve started waking up about 4 am and I am wide awake. I occasionally take some ambien to help me sleep and usually it knocks me out but it doesn’t help right now. It has happened before with the previous rounds. This week before I get more chemo I don’t sleep so well. I’m wide awake for about an hour and I just lay there. Eventually I fall back asleep for another hour or two before it’s time for school. And really if I’m being honest, Ryan is the one that gets the kids up and off to school these days. Cuz he’s the best and picks up my slack. 🥰

But I’m okay. I still can’t eat anything besides toast, protein drinks and cookies. I can eat all the junk food and it doesn’t upset my stomach but give me some grapes and strawberries and I’ll be cramping up big time. 😔 go figure.  

Two more days. 😭 please don’t make me go again. 

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