Some good things

 Yesterday was really rough. I was not in a good place at all. I was having major anxiety at bedtime. My legs were restless and my stomach was so uneasy. I ended up throwing up some more water at bedtime and that wore my body out enough that I was able to sleep. 

I slept until 11:00 today before I had to get up to the bathroom. I’ve been in bed ever since. I decided I didn’t want any more meds today because the nausea meds weren’t helping anyway. 

I’ve just been laying in bed but I’ve been so much better. I was able to do a little work on my computer. I was able to eat some cottage cheese and scrambled eggs…..that sounds weird. I didn’t necessarily eat them together but I had them cuz I figured those would be easy on my stomach. It took me about an hour to eat it. I was trying to go slow and not freak my stomach out. 

I miss food so much. I want chips, I want Mexican food. I want some greasy, cheesy beans and some fried enchilada or taquitos or the other night I dreamed I was eating taco salad. I love a homemade taco salad. I love salad in general. Give me some good ranch and a yummy salad and I’ll be so happy. Let’s see- we have the trolley tortilla salad (art city trolley), turkey bacon avocado salad (Kneader’s), chicken BBQ ranch (zupas), chicken crispers (Red Robin). I just want to be able to eat again. I scroll through Instagram and there are too many food posts. Yummy food posts and I want them all. I want an avocado turkey sandwich. I just want a regular old turkey deli sandwich. I want to eat all the delicious cakes and cinnamon rolls and pastries and everything yummy. I just want my stomach to be normal again. Is that so pathetic? I want to eat all the things. 

I’m hoping I’m going to recover sooner this time. My tongue hasn’t gone completely numb and fuzzy this time which is a huge blessing. Maybe I’ll be able to eat sooner and get better before Tuesday. Maybe I’ll be out of bed tomorrow. 

I also didn’t get the cracked lip in the corner of my mouth this time. My hands are dry but not like before. I haven’t caked my face and head in aquaphor. So maybe that lesser dose didn’t mess things up as much this time. Maybe that’s why I’ll get better sooner. 

I’m better today. 

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