Round four ✅

I’m doing okay tonight. I’m pretty tired and feel a little out of it from medications I took for the numbness in my hands and feet. 

I was kind of an emotional mess yesterday and this morning. I was crying again and dreading going to my appointment. I did not want to go. I cried to my oncologist and he gave me a hug. 😆 I really like him. He’s a good guy. He spent like an hour talking to us. He’s so good. 

I know I’m going to sound like a baby but thinking about

-having a stuffy nose every morning

- blowing my nose and having chunks of skin and blood come out

-my tongue turns numb and I can’t eat anything

-I’m so hungry and I can’t eat

-I can’t get out of bed without feeling so sick

-I don’t know if what I eat is going to trigger the stomach cramps and diarrhea 

-my legs and muscles get so weak from laying in bed and I have trouble walking down the stairs

-my tongue

- not being able to eat 

😂 I know I already said those but it really bugs me. I hate when my tongue goes numb. I hate that I can’t eat anything but toast. My sister made me a vegetable soup tonight and it hasn’t upset my stomach so far. It was super healthy and tasted good. It was super bland so it was perfect for me. And I don’t mean bland in a bad way. It was good. And I tried two new drinks from swig- flavored water. So maybe I can tolerate those when my tongue goes numb and I start to get dehydrated.

 They decreased the dose of one of the chemo drugs because I didn’t recover as well this time and my doctor didn’t want me to hit a wall at round four. He wants me to get all six rounds and getting a little bit less and getting six rounds in is better than getting a full dose but hitting a wall at round four and not being able to finish the last two cuz my body can’t handle it. Does that make sense? I feel pretty tired and out of it today. Hopefully you can make sense of that explanation. 

I received text messages today with friends and family wearing the Lindsey kicks it shirt. It was so sweet to see the love and support. I teach the 13-14 year old girls at church. Six of my girls sent me a picture of them wearing the shirt today. 😭😭😭 they are the cutest, sweetest girls ever. And neighbors. And teachers at the elementary school that have taught my kids. So sweet. Such good people. 

PEOPLE ARE SO GOOD. Even though there is a lot of bad going on in the world there are good people all around us. Don’t forget to be kind to those around you. Give them the benefit of the doubt. You don’t know what devastation they may have just gone through. Never suppress a kind thought. No one is going to turn away a kind text, a drink, a cookie, a note, anything. 

Ok I’m done preaching. 😆Good night. 😘

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