The good, the bad and the ugly

 But I’m starting with the ugly and making my way to the good. 

I’ve been losing my hair all weekend and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. Well I found out last night how I feel about it. I’m sad. I’m really, really sad. 

Last night I went to do baptisms at the temple. My hair obviously got wet cuz I went under the water. I was debating about washing my hair. I didn’t know what to do with it. I decided to wash it. I would run my hands through my hair and it just kept coming out. It wouldn’t stop. I could envision how I was going to look when I got out of the shower. I just sat down in the shower and cried. Okay I bawled. Big ugly tears. That may seem silly or not I don’t know. I was just thinking I was going to step out of the shower and have a huge bald head. There were short hairs coming out so I knew my bangs were coming out too. And it wasn’t just falling out it was burning. My head was hurting so bad, just to touch my head. I couldn't scrub the shampoo into my hair because it hurt to touch. It hurt so bad. It feels like when you’ve had your hair in a high ponytail for one too many days and when you take it out your hair kind of hurts- like it’s sore? You know what I mean. Anyway, I’ve been wearing a beanie today and trying not to think about it. It makes me pretty sad. 

Now on to the bad. I don’t know if it’s bad, it’s just a little disappointing. My taste is a little messed up. The oncologist warned me my taste may change but it’s still disappointing. Friday night for dinner I wanted a nutter butter smoothie from The Orange Peel. I was so excited cuz that’s all that sounded good to me. Nope wasn’t as good as I remembered. I eat things and it’s like my taste buds are dull. Nothing tastes very good. Cookies- blah. Brownies- blah. Food- blah. All the good things they’re just blah. 

My feet get ice cold at times. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Thank goodness for heated blankets and warm, fuzzy socks. 

Now on to the good. I went to my high fit class on Thursday.  Those of you that aren't familiar with high fitness classes, they have a routine, I guess. They do cardio songs, toner songs, cardio pushes, barre track, ab track, etc. Anyway at the end they have a party track. One of my favorite party songs is Cake by Flo Rida and 99 percent (Look it up and listen to it). Well on Thursday my friend who was teaching the class played it and a few of the regulars know I love it and we were all like, oh yay! My song. I teared up and almost cried for the first minute of the song then I pulled myself together and pushed through. Then I see my friend/instructor's post on instagram: 

"Life is full of ups and downs! Let me tell you an “up” from last week. Prepped my Thursday playlist as usual and was headed out to teach when I had the most nagging feeling to change our “Party Song Track”— odd because you feel like the Spirit wouldn’t really involve itself much in the art of making a playlist. 😂 I caved and changed it to “Cake” despite feeling like it was unnecessary. Halfway into my class, one of my favorite participants who has been battling cancer and has been out for the last few months showed up to just join the fun as much as she could— I knew “Cake” was her most favorite of all High Fit songs and just had to smile that the Lord is good and He knows His children. ❤️"

Remember that our Heavenly parents and our Savior know us. They are aware of us. They are involved in the details of our lives. Something as silly as a song to dance to and make me smile. God is good.